Good Morning,

I am just thinking of all the anger and hatred in this world and I am just sick over it. I want to help people that are angry and feel they need to retaliate. Why are people so angry? Could it be they were born this way, could it be a learned behavior, could it be that someone has done something to them? I think it could be all of the above or it could be only one or one or two. It is ok to be angry at some things but its how you control your anger and how you convey your angry feelings to others that make a difference. Here are some facts about anger.

Anger is a natural emotion, but when it gets out of control it can lead to problems for that person, such as problems at work, at home, in relationships, with family and just day to day activities. People that are easily angered generally have a low tolerance for frustration, they feel they should not have to be in the middle of an inconvenience, or annoyance. They are not able to take things in stride. Angry people tend to jump to conclusions which can be very inaccurate.

So that leads us to how do we express our anger? The most common way is to respond aggressively, a person feels the need to defend his/her self. A person lashes out and says things that are hurtful. This is not necessarily a good choice. Below are some ways to help with anger.

1. Relaxation. When you start to feel angry, breathe deep and think of something that is calming to you, like sitting next to a flowing creek and listening to the birds and feeling the warmth of the sun.

2. Changing the way you think. It is very common for a person to curse, say hurtful things. Instead of thinking how awful the situation is, think of how it is not what you wanted, its not exactly ok but it is not the end of the world and being angry is not going to fix it.

3. Problem Solving. A person shouldn't always focus on finding the solution, but how they handle the problem. If a person curses and gets angry right away then your not getting anywhere, so if you handle the problem with a calm attitude and communicate, then you will make progress. If someone is acting out and in rage, then you should walk away. When they calm down then proceed to talk again.

4. Better communication. Dont jump to or act on conclusions. They can be very inaccruate. A person should take a deep breath and think about it slowly and dont say the first thing that comes to your mind. Listen to what the other person is saying and take your time before responding.

5. Be assertive. Ask questions in a calming way that will help to ease your mind. Ask them right then and there, dont put it off till later. Make a list if you need to so the other person is not interrupted.

6. Clarification. Be willing to let it go after things have been clarified. Even though something has been clarified it is not healthy to continue to be upset. If a person is still feeling upset after all these techniques then they may want to consider professional counseling.

Although this is not something that can change over night, it is something that can be changed. If you are a person with anger, then go to God in prayer and ask him to help you to over come this. The bible says "Call unto me, and I will answer thee. Jeremiah 33:3. I hope that all who read this will find comfort and peace with this information.

Jennifer